Zer0

Fairytale Choices. A Twitter conversation I had with a friend.

As an awakening from a friend's tweet, I wrote this essay.

What is it to be lacking? What is it to be outshone, thus to lack colors to refract?

But, in all of these, what for is asking for things that you have, even in the slightest degree? Why do people see what's lacking, when they could focus on what's there? And why do I bother asking questions, when I do not need your answer, but need you to see what you think of when I ask them?

We are of human character and we strive to be complete. Yes, I do understand perfectionism, for I am one in some aspects in my own life. But can't we complete with being incomplete, like being perfect though we bathe in our own imperfections? Yes? Then let us think that what we are is complete in our incompleteness.

We do not need to be all-out, when what we are isn't. We do not need to be perfect, when who we are isn't. To strive for that whole that we cannot actually reach isn't going to be something fulfilling if it is not truly what we are. If a man makes himself fully emo, when he is just emotional, would drive him into the insanity of wearing Kohl and Razors to prove to himself he is truly emo. It would kill him just to achieve a wrongfully set Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. Or the same would go for a woman who is just picky, but is called an all-out bitch, it would delude her into thinking that she is mean and would only turn her into a monster that she is not at all. To live completely by the names that society or ourselves put on us is insane, and we let ourselves get drunk on this  labeling insanity.

Then there are people who think that what they are isn't enough. That a certain thing amiss is like losing everything altogether. Grey isn't darkness, it's not given enough light, but it still is good. Like people overshadowed by greater powers: Sidekicks and Heroes, Editors and Writers, Indie and Mainstream. Colorblind is not truly colorblind. Have you ever thought of that? And when all we see are grey-scale, aren't you glad there is something intermediate between the harsh duality of White and Black? And when a relationship is gone, or is never there to start with, it does not mean that love does not exist in our hearts, for love is always there as a reason when we smile, cry, get broken, get healed, and face a new day. When something is amiss, we always have something we can hold on to, a ground that we can stand on or anything we are still thankful for.

When they take the physical, we have the metaphysical, the spiritual, the plane where other mean people cannot touch. Something we lock deep within ourselves that they can't take away from us. We always have something no matter what we lack, so we are never truly lacking. We are never Zero.

So when I think what it would be: To pay the wrath of hell by being the nemesis? Or to stay happy and proud in a condition where dimness is at my point beside who has the show? Tempting as the dark side may sound, I prefer to live what I live by and be happy with what I am now.

But when the nemesis is right all along with what he believes in, I'd go with be him.