Falling in Love

"That is not flying. It's falling - with style." - Woody, Toy Story

We all have felt falling, sinking helplessly to gravity. We have felt the rush of adrenaline through our veins, and in some sadistic little way, have liked every bit of it. And we all have had scars that we still can remember today, phantom hurts and bandages.

We are Dionysian in nature. We have destructive tendencies of liking the hurt in some way or another. We cannot deny this fact that we get drawn to heavy conflicts of life, regardless of what it is. Watching the scariest and goriest bits in a movie though we ourselves know that it is bound to happen and the scene will haunt us before we go to sleep or enter the bathroom. We tend to miss the feeling of pain in any form, that we say "I forgot how it felt like to..". And at times, we tend to repeat these things too much, that without them, there is nothing to base some things from, like fights in relationships that we see as the pillars of being together. But this insanity of self-destruction is not completely ugly, and at times would seem beautiful in itself.

We are happily in doom. It is inevitable that without these phenomena to spice up your life, it would just be some repetitive motion of happiness and surrealism. We tend to feel more human with each imperfection and this is how we see the light at the end of every tunnel. We find the things that make us happy even if it kills us, to stand on our perceptions and beliefs that is unwise, unsavory, unlikely, un-[any negative adjective] to others but we see as the truth of ourselves and point of our existence.

This is why I think we use the term of "falling in love".

We fall in love because of the seemingly never ending feeling of sinking, something that we do not choose ourselves, hence others saying "I don't know why, I just do." But why should mere man choose to fall for something called love? Is it merely because of the helplessness and the inability to overcome this feeling once it has started? Then why not "Being dragged by two muscular bouncers into love"? And here I try to justify with our nature. To like the feeling, even though there is no possible force for us to stop it. To accept the fate of endless freefall because of tripping in some way into a bottomless pit. This debauchery of intensity of helplessness is not mere negativity because for one thing, we like the feeling of being in love.

We have liked this epic feeling for too long that nearly the economy has revolved around this trait of the human character. We see lots and other products being sold by strengthening beliefs of a complete familial love, incorporating families to introduce unconsciously the feeling that by buying these items, we gain the perfect relationship. Even the music, literature and film industries have made a point of using the terms of love to hook their consumers of this feeling that people desire in different forms around the same subject. For C.S. Lewis in "The Screwtape Letters" have said that we are men who strive for something new every time, but we tend to long of the feeling of repetition. The never ending cycle of different things, the Seasons, the months, and now Chick flicks, Romance novels and Heartbreak songs (since even the lack of love pertains to love itself).

Even in my Dionysian nature, I have felt like falling is itself flying. No bird nor squirrel has ever tried to glide through the air without opening its wings (or skin flaps, whatever) and jumping off that branch without fear of hitting the ground below. To fear for something we can overcome is a nuisance to what we can do to become better and feel better about ourselves. Falling is by no means a bad thing (except if used in the sense of suicide). Falling is a learning process, to embrace what we are and what we feel to overcome fear and fault to be happy for once even if the process hurts us the most. So even falling can be mistaken for flying - and even flying for falling. Falling in love.

And here I wish to fly.