We need to talk.
I just entered the house, opened a tub of ice cream and curled up on the left side of the couch.
Yes, I'm crying. No, don't come here to my side and wipe them. I always get to see just a glimmer of your eyes. Let me see them. Let me take your glasses off. Let me see them. I just love how big and brown they are. Yes, I'm sure that you don't need to wipe them off.
You know, I know you don't love me. I could see that. Yes, in your eyes. I could also feel you drift further away, not like you were close to begin with. But, I do know you try. You try so hard to find it in you. But you don't. You never call to check up on me. You never finish the meals I made you. Stop! Let me finish. You never tell me that you love me when no one is around. You don't touch the cupcakes I make, they're still in the fridge. You never reply when I text. You never came to events I wanted you to. But in all those things, I try to not mind. I know how stubborn you are. I know how lazy you get to. And somehow, that's why I love you.
You can't say that I never tried. I always did. I try to help you get closer to me, so that it would be easier for the both of us. I gave you everything I can, with enough space. I never got jealous, because you'd complain when I do. I wanted to give you freedom from all my pains. That's why I try to resolve my own problems because I didn't want to add to yours.
I know it's hard for you to hear what I'm saying. But you should know that it's even harder for me. I can't tell you how much it just pains me to see you everyday hoping and praying you'd fall in love with me again - if you did love me before. The most painful part in whatever it is between us is hoping, not the waiting. I could wait forever for you to love me when I do know you will, but I couldn't hope that long when my soul just wears thin knowing you won't.
I got my bags packed and the taxi would be coming soon. Please, don't stop me. I love you so much. You were my world. You fueled all the wonderful things that I could do now. But could never see how you look at me through these glasses. I could trade a day in my life to just see and feel what you feel when you see me, but then again, I already know how that feels. And it's killing me. You can have these back.
I love you so much. So much.
And I bit my lip to refrain from crying. 15 minutes until the cab comes.
I hear keys and footsteps.
"Hello, dear! Sorry I'm late. The traffic was a killer," he says. "Oh, you have ice cream. Whatever for?"
We need to talk.
